Behold, Ridiculous Penis Physics
Published: January 01, 0001
Reading Time: Approx. 8 mins
There’s been a lot of talk recently about the (unfortunate) boob jiggling in Lightning Returns Meanwhile, games like Mount Your Friends quietly launch onto Xbox Live Indie Games, initially passing under the radar here at Kotaku. https://kotaku.com/for-some-reason-lightning-returns-has-boob-jiggling-947463805 If you haven’t seen this game before, going by the description alone, it doesn’t sound so ridiculous. The Steam Greenlight page describes the game as a “physics based competitive climbing game.” That doesn’t even sound interesting! Oh, but Stegersaurus Games have a trick up their sleeves to get you interested: rummy nobel a trailer where men can experience the absurd “joy” of helicoptering their crotch despite standing completely still. Also, lots of grunting and slapping sounds. 
And a goat? Listen, I don’t know why there’s a goat in there, but yeah. Goat. 
Dicks. Mostly naked men. Racial diversity? It’s all in there. The point of the game—when you’re not being distracted by the dick physics, that rummy royal is—is to become the highest point in a tower of people. Mount your friends. Geddit? There’s Yono all app a timer, though—and if you run out of time before you get to the top, you’re eliminated. There’s also a timer-less mode, should you want to, uh, mount without pressure. The Steam version of the game hopes to add 
a bunch of new features, including customization, a plot-heavy campaign (???), and weather. You can vote for it here.